Archive for May, 2009

Checking things off the list

We’ve managed to cross a few items off the wedding to-do list since my last update. Namely:

– I ordered the dress. I’d more or less chosen it a couple of months ago but wanted to be kind to my mummy and let her see it before I made a final decision. Actually, I probably would have got that one anyway but I still wanted to wait till she visited. I was psyching myself up for her famous half-hearted “hmmmm” that means “I think you’ve made entirely the wrong decision, and after scrunching up my nose and acting coy about telling you why, I’m going to tell you why”. But, it turned out, she loved the dress. So. Deposit down, dress ordered. It takes about four months and will need alterations after that as it’s going to be miles too long but I am calling that job done.

– We collected the rings. We’d decided to lay-by them, mostly to reduce the amount of time they would spend at our house before the big day. We both felt that the longer they were here, the greater the chance I would lose them. But a few weeks ago we got a letter from the jeweller that our lay-by period had expired and we had to pay it out. So we did, and the rings are now tucked away with other wedding-y things and I am trying not to think about them so I can resist the temptation to put mine on and, inevitably, lose it.

– we booked a photographer. This one has been really bothering me because all those helpful wedding sites say you need to book the photog early. Well, we had recommendations from a couple of friends and while one of the photographers came back quickly with a price and some samples, the other took ages to get back. We have decided to go with the second one even though she’s a little more expensive because she’s had lots of wedding experience and she’ll have an assistant with her on the day, which should make things more manageable. She’s the parent of a child at Hunter’s future school and I met her through playgroup. I’ve seen some of her work, but leigh hasn’t – but I booked anyway because I am like that. We’re going to her studio Sunday to have a look at some other weddings she has shot and to talk about what we want.

A few other things have come along a bit without actually being finalised. We visited a party hire shop last weekend to look at tables and glassware and linen, and we now have a fairly good idea about what we want. We’re still deciding how to set up the tables, and leigh is investing an impressive amount of time into looking at every decorating option on earth.

She’s also been trying out various table decoration ideas to see how they work so our house is full of different jars and vases and candles and lanterns and flowers and ribbons. Everything she makes looks elegant and professional so I think she should stop worrying about it.

Oh, and we’ve decided to invest a bit of money on the venue (aka our back yard). Much of our yard is concrete, and not very nice concrete at that. We’ve gone back and forth on whether to do anything with it and if so, what.

Paving’s really out of the budget since the area is so big. Ripping it up and planting gardens is tempting but it’s probably also too pricey, plus the kids love riding their bikes out there so it’s kind of good to have for now. We thought about just painting it for a quick and easy makeover.

In the end we’ve decided to go ahead with resurfacing. So it’s still going to be hard and flat, but it will also be smooth and terracotta-coloured.

It’s not cheap but not terribly expensive either, and we figured if we’d held the wedding at some fancy venue we could have easily spent that additional money and had nothing to show for it after all was said and done.

And speaking of fancy – my boss’s SIL came into work the other week showing off a magazine spread all about her wedding. She mentioned that the budget quoted in the mag was wrong but I got the impression it wasn’t wrong by much. Quoted budget? $85,000!!!

I can’t fathom spending that much on a wedding. Ours may cost a tenth of that, including our outfits and rings and everything else. Even spending that much feels like a big outlay to me. Maybe I am just stingy?

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And so we begin

So the boy’s second birthday was nearly a month ago now. I always thought I’d breastfeed him for around two years, which puts us right about now. So we’ve started the weaning process. Kinda.

We actually started down this path about six weeks ago when I finally called a stop to all the night feeding. It was at the point where he was waking four or more times a night and he’d be calling “want boobie” before I even got to the door.

For the longest time I just went with it, because he only ever wanted to nurse for a minute or two then he just went back to bed with no complaint. But the service calls were getting more and more frequent and eventually something had to change.

What followed was a long week of me getting up several times a night, holding an inconsolable boy and repeating “no boobies. you can have some water”. Each time he’d eventually cave in and have a sip of water before going back to bed. Now he rarely wakes, but if he does, he always asks for water.

Really, night weaning was the easy bit. During the day it’s so much harder to say no. He’ll be clambering on me when I am trying to work or trying to talk on the phone and it’s easier to give in than to try to put up with the whining and clawing.

But as of yesterday, I am making a determined effort to limit the daytime breastfeeding. My plan is to nurse only when he wakes in the morning, before his day sleep and before bed for the night. I’ve already broken my own rule once.

I wouldn’t say it’s going fabulously. He does get pretty upset if I refuse him. Distraction and redirection work some of the time but he often remembers a few minutes later and starts to cry again. I’m trying to keep reminding him that we’re only breastfeeding when he wakes up and before he sleeps now, and I think he understands to a point, but he doesn’t like it.

I feel a bit funny about weaning. To some extent I am pretty eager to be done with breastfeeding. Because a lot of the time, it’s a royal pain these days. He can’t sit still, he has to change sides every few minutes and he thinks there’s a self-serve buffet in my shirt.

But at the same time, I feel pretty sad – even though I’m probably at least a few months from being totally done.

In truth, I’d probably be happy to retain the pre-bed nursing session indefinitely were it not for our wedding plans. For various reasons, I want to wean fully before then, but if that wasn’t on the horizon then I could imagine continuing for another year.

As it is, I am planning on a fairly slow and hopefully reasonably gentle weaning process. Once I’ve managed to cut out the on-demand feeding I’ll probably give it another month before I do anything else. Then I might start to think about dropping the pre-day sleep feed. It will be at least another month after that before I look at dropping the morning or bedtime feed. The wedding is still six months away so there’s no great rush.

I think when it comes to say goodbye to that last session, we’ll both be pretty sad.

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Party pics

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One for the 21st birthday speech

Copied from IVP
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By way of background, I will say that Hunter complains about absolutely everything at the moment. Give her cake and she complains it is not a big enough piece, buy her new clothes and she complains she wanted something different, cuddle her and she complains that my arm’s in the wrong spot or it’s too tight or any of a million other things.

So, today we’re driving to preschool and she starts talking about how she and Hugo were born. We’ve talked about it plenty of times before and she knows they arrived in different ways but today she wanted me to tell her again. So I tell her, the doctor made a cut in my tummy to get her out, and Hugo came out through my vagina.

Well, she dropped the lip and adopted her surliest expression, then burst into tears and said, “It’s not fair! I wanted to come out your vagina!”

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To Hugo

Boy of laughter and mellow thoughfulness
Close bosom-friend of the maturing mum
Conspiring with her how to load and bless
With love the home to which the children come;
 To bend with cuddles the obsess’d mummies,
And fill all hearts with delight to the core;
To swell the toy cupboard, and plump nappies
With a not-so-sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, clever tricks for the mummies,
Until they think amazement will never cease,
For Hugo has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells

By mummy, with a teeny bit of input from Keats.

Hugo was two yesterday.

Happy birthday, gorgeous child.

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