The downside to having children

Yes, I know, there are actually lots of downsides (hello, sleep deprivation and non-existant social life) – fortunately outnumbered by the upsides.

But the downside to having children when you’re planning a wedding is that it makes deciding the guestlist very difficult. Because when you have kids, you spend time with other people who have kids.

We’re planning a pretty small wedding, partly because that’s just what we prefer, partly to contain costs and partly because there’s only so many people we can fit in our backyard. But if we invite the children of everyone on the guestlist, we’d have more than 30 kids!

Considering we were kind of aiming for around 60 people all together, you can see that that poses something of a problem. Even if we wanted to invite every child of every guest, we can’t really afford to and we definitely don’t have the space to. We also want guests to be able to kick back and have fun without having to spend the night running after their kids. There’s plenty of time for that at the two billion birthday parties we all attend each year.

So what to do?? We can’t exactly make it a kid-free wedding when two of the kids are our own, plus we know that at least a few of the little ones will be *very* little – probably too young to be left at home. And some of our guests will probably be travelling a long way so they can hardly leave their kids behind.

Basically, we’re left with three options: we say no kids except our own, and accept that a fair number of our guests won’t be able to make it; we invite everyone’s kids and blow the budget, and get crammed in like sardines; or try to find some middle ground.

At the moment, we’re thinking we will invite the children of those guests who are travelling. We’ll also extend an invitation to parents to bring along their young babies that are too little to be left with anyone. And we’ll hope that our other guests are able to find babysitters. If they can’t, we’ll do what we can.

I’m hoping this might mean about 10 kids on the list, but we may end up with a few more if guests have problems with babysitters. I don’t want any of my friends not to be able to make it because they have no one to watch their kids.

We’re still thinking about this and haven’t made any firm decisions yet because I am worried about offending people. But I don’t think I’d be offended if we were invited to a wedding and the kids weren’t, so maybe I am over analysing things (hard to imagine, huh?).

Anyway, one to work on.


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Lara said,

    I’m always very happy to leave the kid at home (or with a sitter!).

    I think we did a similar thing at our wedding – “no kids policy”, which actually meant there was a newborn and a few older kids, and kids from interstate visitors. I *hope* nobody was offended!

  2. 2

    nutella said,

    I argee, it’s a dilema! How about sponsoring a baby sitting creche nearby for your guests? That way the kids will get to see one another, the parents get some kid free time, and you are spared having too many folks in the backyard.

  3. 3

    Mike said,

    Just passing by.Btw, you website have great content!

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